Nightmare on Merseyrail

“Ladies” Day at the Aintree Festival is one of the social highlights of the year in Liverpool. It’s a day’s racing I have only attended once and, believe me, that one occasion was more than enough.

The build up to this extraordinary day sees the busiest week of the year in the many fake tan shops in Liverpool as the local lasses add a golden, or is that orange, sheen to their complexion. There is a long standing joke, worryingly based on fact, that if it rains on Ladies Day the puddles are bright orange in colour as the spray on tan runs off the exposed legs.

Being early April the weather isn’t always warm on this day but it doesn’t stop the locals dressing inappropriately for the weather with the outfits more appropriate for high summer than low spring.

Indeed not only are the outfits often inappropriate for the weather conditions, they are frequently and frighteningly wholly inappropriate for the bodies to which they have been applied.

My one trip to Liverpool for Ladies Day remains indelibly etched on my mind and will probably do so until the day I die and I fear no form of regression therapy would ever remove it from my mind.

First of all I have to say I have an eye for attractive ladies and I do prefer my ladies to be curvy – skinny lasses really do not float my boat and if the ladies want to show off their curves that’s fine by me – within reason.

My journey to Ladies Day was made by train and I did the final leg on the local rail service, Merseyrail.

A lady boarded the train and sat opposite me, she was curvy and she was wearing a short skirt, half way up her thighs and her top was, how shall I put it, figure hugging.

It sounds good on first impressions but there was a sting in the tail, or even a couple of stings.

Firstly this was not some young lady in the first flushes of youth, this was a woman who must have been well into her fifties.

Secondly I’m no expert on women’s clothes sizes  but she must have been easily in the high teens, low to mid twenties in terms of size.

It just was not right.

Did she not possess a mirror. A mini skirt is fine but not when you possess thunder thighs, thankfully she was wearing tights but you could still see the markings from the cellulite.

The top was more than worrying – she was beautifully well endowed, something to normally celebrate. However the top was so tight it’s probably safe to say at least 75% of ample bosom was overflowing from this top.

Indeed I was doing some quick calculations to work out if the fabric succumbed to the intense pressure it was obviously under  would I be hit in the face by two expanding breasts.

Her décolletage was the giveaway to her age, no page three complexion here but something more like an orange which has been left out in the sun for far too long as she did, indeed, have the orange glow.

To finish off the “look” she was wearing enough make-up to keep Max Factor in profit for the next decade and she was wearing a perfume almost guaranteed to trigger an asthma attack.

Some of you may well be saying she was probably a one-off example but sadly she sort of set the standard for the day.

The afternoon itself is toxic as the drink flows and the local lads circle the ever drunker girls, like vultures waiting to pounce on their prey.

Post racing sees the unedifying sight of many of the ‘ladies’ looking anything but ladylike, staggering away or maybe just even lying in the gutter throwing up.

Yes Ladies Day at Aintree is an experience but one I was never, ever going to repeat.

Racecourse A-Z Part One

On one of the racing forums there has been a debate about the relative merits of our various racecourses, having been to every UK course on at least three occasions I’m probably in a good position to compare them.

So here is the first of a three part blog with my thumbnail sketches of our racecourses, welcome to racecourses A-F.

(If I happen to annoy any racecourse managers – it’s nothing personal, I’m just giving my impartial view)

Aintree

One of the courses known to non-racing fans. A massive site it has a buzz at the national meeting but at the other meetings it has a forlorn feel as when only 5-6,000 attend they seem lost in the vast acreage.   “Ladies Day” at the National meeting is one of the most terrifying  experiences known to man.

Viewing of the Mildmay course is good but terrible on the National course, even with industrial strength binoculars.

Visit the National meeting once to experience the place, otherwise best avoided. 4/10

Ascot

Controversially redeveloped I was one of those initially anti the changes, now I’m probably its biggest fan.

The amphitheatre parade ring has to be amongst the best in the world, even Longchamps.   

Viewing is good, especially if you have Premier tickets. It can be oppressively crowded at the Royal meeting though and it isn’t that cheap, although they do have a free day in the spring.

The racing is generally  of a good quality.

It can get boozy and intimidating at some of the big meetings. 9/10

Ayr

Ayr is a funny course. They have spent vast sums of money refurbishing the inside of the stands but externally it looks tatty. It’s another of those courses where there is a buzz on the big days but can feel quite forlorn on the quieter days.

Viewing of the racing is good but for me it’s a “take it or leave it” course.  4/10  

Bangor

The course which famously does not have a grandstand, which isn’t a problem on a nice sunny day but a big disadvantage if the weather is inclement.

Viewing is from sloping banks and, unusually, the finish is down the side of the course relative to the enclosures.

Having said that there is a good atmosphere and you can see the racing.

It would be a lot better if it switched from left to right handed  and have the finish in front of the enclosures but that’s being picky.  7/10

Bath

The highest course in the country and don’t you know it as it is almost always windy there. It also had no irrigation system so the word firm invariably appears in the going description, although with some fantastic turf management they manage to take the sting out of the ground.

To me it’s a schizophrenic course.

The midweek meetings can be a real delight with moderate crowds and a good atmosphere. Weekend meetings can be hell on earth with boozy coach parties descending from across the Welsh border,where the course can be overcrowded and intimidating.    Midweek 6/10  Weekend 2/10

Beverley

It has to have the narrowest enclosures in the country which can make the place feel more full than it probably is.

It usually attracts a decent crowd, even mid-week. It can get a bit lively at the weekend meetings. A good honest to goodness course. 6/10

Brighton

In days of yore it had a seedy reputation thanks to Graham Green’s Brighton Rock and it has to be said it still has a seedy feel to it. The Grandstand has certainly seen better days. There are some stunning views from its hilltop position with the Channel below.

It is also the only track with a housing estate in the middle of the course. It attracts good holiday crowds but I would only call it an OK type of course.  5/10

Carlisle

I think Carlisle is an underrated course. The topology does mean there are a couple of areas where racing cannot be seen with the naked eye.

It has an excellent, testing, jumps track and I prefer it as a jumps rather than flat course. The one “disadvantage” is it is located in the wettest part of the country which can result in testing conditions for both participants and racegoers. 7/10

Cartmel

Cartmel can be a Marmite course, you either love it or hate it – me I love the place.

In a beautiful setting the atmosphere is fabulous. OK the racing is moderate and there isn’t a single point at the course where you can see all the action but that’s not the point.

The crowd are in the centre of the course and the prime pitches next to the fences soon go well before racing.

Set in a delightful village it’s the place for a perfect day out 9/10

Catterick Bridge

What I would call a “bread and butter” course and that isn’t meant to be derogatory. The racing is moderate but there is a knowledgeable local crowd. It doesn’t get overly busy but there is generally a good atmosphere.

For a good no frills day at the races it is hard to beat 6/10

Cheltenham

The home of national hunt racing and its setting in a natural amphitheatre is one of the best in racing.

Home of the Festival it can also be a frustrating meeting with big queues everywhere, especially on Gold Cup day and moving around is difficult almost impossible at times.

It is a much more enjoyable experience at the other meetings, some of which can have racing as good as the Festival itself.

It is a course every NH fan should visit at least once. 8/10

Chepstow

It was once my local track and I was a frequent visitor but it’s a course I’ve never had a strong affection for.

The undulating straight track means viewing is terrible and it is a course which has a reputation for being boozy and having something of an edge.

One I wouldn’t be too upset if I never visited again. 3/10

Chester

I’m probably going to ruffle a lot of feathers here but I abhor Chester and if it were to close down tomorrow I would not shed a single tear.

The course itself is so tight many results are decided by the draw rather than ability, although that would not bother most who attend as they don’t seem interested in the racing.

The course seems to be frequented by patrons who are more interested in pouring as much booze down their throats as they are in watching the racing.

I have long said they could stage three legged donkey races at Chester and 90% of the crowd would be none the wiser.

It’s the most expensive over-prices course in the country but amazingly they still manage to sell out most meetings. 0/1 0

Doncaster

Doncaster is, in my view, the Cinderella of courses – it has so much potential but it’s not allowed to achieve it.

There is a brand new Grandstand but with what is effectively a woods in the centre of the course, viewing is very restricted for round course races.

Being part of ARC prize money is kept to a minimum and that results in generally moderate racing. Take away the St Leger, Lincoln and possibly November handicap and there isn’t much left.

It’s a shame as with some serious investment in prize money Doncater could become the premier track in the north. 6/10

Epsom

An anomaly of a course. I often say if Epsom applied to be a new course today it would never be granted a licence by the BHA with the nature of its track, yet it is home to, arguably, the most fanous flat race in the world.

Built on common land they have a problem that people can watch racing for free in the centre of the course.

The Derby meeting is a fantastic experience, especially on The Hill. Sadly other meetings lack atmosphere and quality.  

Epsom have moved to the concert format which means they can charge £35 admission and then put on absolutely dire racing. Derby Meeting 8/10 Other meetings 4/10

Exeter

What I call a locals course and a course which can attract some decent runners. Unfortunately being high on a hill it also attracts swirling mists which can ruin a potentially good days racing.

Having said that an enjoyable course to visit. 7/10

Fakenham

Unless you happen to be a local the course is miles from anywhere. However wherever you do live the course is worth a visit.

Compact it always feels busy and although the crowds are only around the 2,000 mark it always feels fuller.

The course has a strong, loyal local following – it must be the only course which seems to have more members than paying public. The crowd is knowledgeable and welcoming and I would call Fakenhan a proper NH grassroots course. 9½/10

Ffos Las

If Fakenham is the most difficult course to get to in the east then Ffos Las must hold the same accolade in the west. It seems to take forever to get to, even once you leave the M4.

Facilities are basic but the course itself is good and viewing is good.

Mobile phone signals are hit and miss at the course. 6/10

Fontwell

I’m going to have to declare an interest here – this is where I first attended a live meeting.

Fontwell is quirky with its figure-of-eight chase course but, for me that adds to its charm. There are fewer better placed to watch racing than in the centre of the course in a chase at Fontwell.       

Another course with a good local following, if I could only go racing at one course this would be the one. 10/10

Grand National - I Was Wrong

I’m more than happy to shout this from the rooftops  - I WAS WRONG.

After the last two years I was dreading the 2013 National and as I said two blogs ago I had some reservations about the changes bought in ahead of this years renewal.

My fears were wholly unfounded.

Although  I could not face watching the race live my relief was palpable when just after 16:25 on Saturday I received a text which simply said “all seem to be back OK”.

When I later watched a recording of the race I can say, for the first time in years I enjoyed watching the race. The fences certainly looked to be more forgiving and that all the runners were still standing coming to the Canal Turn must be unprecedented.

The race did not look to be any less of a spectacle, so well done to Aintree, the BHA and all those involved in the latest changes – all credit where credit is due.

Let us not get too complacent though, this is but one year, but the signs are good and hopefully the more extreme critics will quieten down now.

I was also wrong in my estimation of the number of viewers who would watch the race on Channel Four. The viewing figures were actually better than those of the BBC in recent years.

I did record the Channel Four coverage and, for me, it was like the Curates Egg.

Some of the background articles were excellent, it was good to see the excellent Gareth O’Brien being used.

There were some oddities though, quite why they went through the runners in reverse order is beyond me.

There was barely any coverage of the runners in the parade ring.

I also found the coverage of the race itself disappointing. It wasn’t their best performance. Too many of the shots were from too far away and it was difficult to identify runners.

It also seems that having gone to the expense of installing a flying camera, it was going to be used to the absolute maximum. To use the camera to show the 14^th fence when the view was blocked by a big screen is absolutely unforgivable.

The shot of The Chair was also poor.

As for the commentary, Richard Hoiles sounded as if he was wearing a muffle and the usually excellent Ian Bartlett just sounded as if he wasn’t really that interested.  Also why did Simon Holt cover the section after Valentines. He clearly had to do it off a monitor, it seems more sense to have had Richard cover Valentines to the Melling Road.

The re-run analysis of the race was unbelievable to the point of embarrassment. It seemed Nick Luck was trying to second guess what was going to happen . At one point he said “We’ll freeze it there” and the VT carried on running.

 
By contrast the RUK coverage with the course commentary was far better. The camera angles were far superior and it was much easier to follow what was happening. The commentary was good and Stewart Machin rose to the occasion was the lead commentator, even resisting his trademark puns.

Farewell Twitter

I’ve written before about new technology and the benefits and disadvantages and the techbnology is something I embrace.

A look at my @orsracing twitter account tells me I have made 18,824 tweets.

My next tweet on that account, pointing to this blog, will be my last.

There are two reasons why this is so.

Many of my tweets have been paddock views and I know from feedback many people have appreciated my views, even if they haven’t always been spot on the button.

Yesterday I was tweeting from Leicester and I sent a series of tweets commenting on the quality of the feature race, especially when comparing with the quality of Sprinter Sacre’s run at Aintree.

Unfortunately one of the tweets was taken completely out of context and it provoked some strong responses.

Let me say I have no problem with people disagreeing with what I say. I love debate and, as many will know, I love playing the part of devils advocate.

However I believe any debate should be civil, even if one totally disagrees with the other persons perspective.

However there was one comment made yesterday which I thought was a cheap shot and, although I am thick skinned,  I found highly offensive.

I don’t see why I should have to suffer such comments.

I do the tweeting as an aside to my other work, it’s not something I have to do and it is not something I expect thanks for, although when I do get thanks it is very much appreciated.

I don’t mind getting criticism or if people disagree with me, wouldn’t life be boring if we all agreed.

I don’t however see why I should go to the effort of Tweeting if I am going to be subjected to snide asides.

The other reason I’m leaving Twitter is, in a way related, and it involves the so called discussions concerning the Grand National fences.

My reservations about the National are well documented and I have no intention of rehashing them here. However I was personally very much affected by the death of Little Josh yesterday.

After the race there was the usual plethora of Tweets from both sides.

What really annoyed me was the utter intolerance of many of those who support the race and purportedly support racing.

There is a near Stalinist attitude with many, where anyone who questions the National or the fences is summarily dismissed as being a crank, ignorant or an animal rights extremists, or somebody who is inherently anti-racing.

They will not or cannot accept there are many of us who love the sport in general do still have genuine concerns about the National course and the National itself.

Why do these people resort to dismissive abuse as their default position? Is it out of desperation because they are unable to offer reasoned explanations to support their case?

I am more than happy to properly debate the issues until the cows come home ….. I have no wish to debate with those who cannot display even basic common courtesy.

Twitter, at its best, can be a great tool but it also has a nasty underside.

I deliberately left it a day before taking this decision, which has not been easy, however having slept on it I feel the same, if not even more strongly about how I feel. 

I have “met” some really lovely people through my racing tweeting and I will very much miss that side of things.

I will still be doing paddock picking and racing reports on my web site www.ors-racing.co.uk and I will still have a Twitter presence in my personal account @PaulOstermeyer.

I don’t tweet on that account very often but when I do it tends to be outspoken, so if your sensibilities are easily offended then please don’t bother following that account.

To all of you who have followed me, thank you and I wish you all very best wishes for the future and if you are that way inclined lucky punting.