Disappointment On The Downs

Well another Derby weekend comes and goes and I have to admit I’ve come away from the 2013 renewal feeling slightly flat and deflated.

It wasn’t all bad, of course, the horrible weather of the previous few days  finally relented and the sun shone on the Downs. The crowds were healthy, 120,000 on the big day itself but those large crowds bring inherent problems as an annoying minority seem to be unable to control themselves after a few drinks.

Friday didn’t get off to a good start as it finally saw the return of Frankie Dettori after serving a six month ban after being caught with traces of cocaine in his system after a drug test in France last September.

With the delays in the returning of his licence I was beginning to find the whole affair more than tiresome.

Of course when he finally did return the frenzy in certain parts of the media was frankly nauseating and one of the worse offenders was Channel Four.

You would think we were witnessing the return of some long lost hero – we weren’t.

Let’s get this straight Dettori was banned after taking a drug which it is a criminal offence to both possess and use. This is not the action of some immature youngster this is the action of a supposedly mature and responsible 42 year old man, father to five children – what a wonderful example to set to them.

He then moves the Dettori PR machine into overdrive claiming it was a moment of madness, a one of mistake. Towards the end of a ban he agrees to the softest of soft interviews with Clare Balding, who by her own admission has been a friend of his for years – so  no danger of a Paxmanesque interrogation there then?

Also, let's not forget Dettori has previous when it comes to cocaine .... he must be a very unlucky person to have only had the drug twice and to have been caught both times. 

Remember Dettori is a shrewd PR operator – switch on the TV cameras and he is the jolly chirpy Italian jockey, away from the cameras and the big meetings the story is different.

I have witnessed, first hand, the other side of Dettori and frankly I think he is an objectionable, obnoxious individual.

For me, after all the fuss about his return, I was actually two of his three mounts came home last.

One of the biggest smiles about his overblown return actually came courtesy of Channel Four.

Emma Spencer, clearly employed for her supposed good looks rather than her racing knowledge, interviewed Neil Callan the winner of Resurgent  and then proceeded to ask him about his “ride” in the next race on Sri Putra – a ride where he had been jocked off by one L Dettori.

He soon put Ms Spencer in her place but how ironic that one of the star presenters of Channel Four was unaware of the jockey change, when the broadcaster she is employed by were having the broadcasting version of an orgasm over Dettori’s return.      

Racing in Friday was good with the aptly named Talent winning The Oaks giving trainer Ralph Beckett an amazing 1-2 in the race, although not in the order expected and it gave Richard Hughes a second classic win in a few weeks.

Saturday dawned and the two feature races were starkly different.

In the Coronation Cup we had St Nicholas Abbey looking for an unprecedented third consecutive win.

With around £9.5k on offer for finishing fifth it was disappointing to see only five runners, especially when two of the five were simply in the race as pacemakers. With trainers complaining about the lack of prize money you would have thought more would have had a pop, even if it were for the decent place purse.

In the end the script worked out as planned with St Nicholas Abbey coming home, barely breaking sweat, followed home by Dunaden.

He can only beat what is put in front of him but with almost £5m in winnings he has been a credit to connections.

Before I turn to The Derby I must mention The Dash over the fastest five furlong course in the country.

Ryan Moore gave Duke of Firenze a sublime ride. I 9^th place and behind wall of horses a half-a-furlong from home, he weaved through rivals to go on and record a neck victory.

Even more impressive was the run of the runner-up, Smoothtalkinrascal, under  Daniel Tudhope, who was as far back as 14^th at the half furlong pole.

Well in the big race itself we had a well touted favourite in Dawn Approach. I have to admit he is a horse I have long admired and I really wanted him to do well in The Derby – as we now know it wasn’t to be.      

I think it's the worse Derby I can remember, a very messy race and I can't recall the last time there were six stewards inquiries into a single race.

Poor Kevin Manning didn't stand a chance in the race - Dawn Approach ran as if a pot of mustard had been shoved up his backside, he took off like a horse possessed and it would have been no surprise if Manning had not returned with arms six inches longer than when he had set out.

Full credit to Ballydoyle who employed perfect tactics, in not employing a pacesetter  they played on the perceived weaknesses of the favourite. Although looking at Dawn Approach I think he would probably have blown up whatever tactics had been employed.

French raider Ocovango probably would not have won but would have been possibly been placed were it not for him getting mullered twice. I wonder  would a jockey with more experience of Epsom have done better on him?

Mars, fancied in some areas, didn't get the best of runs either.

OK The Derby is always a rough race but this one just didn't seem right at all.

Did the "best" horse win - possibly but even that is open to debate.

It was a fantastic day for Ryan Moore though.

Moore often gets slated for “not having a personality” but I would rather have him ride a horse of mine than the coke snorting showman Dettori.   

Alter Ego

Before I ramble off towards this weeks main theme let me first congratulate Ryan Moore on winning the Oaks / Derby double. Whilst not a unique achievement, it takes some doing nonetheless. Also the rides were contrasting in style, with the Oaks win on Snow Fairy being a perfect example of the equine equivalent of threading a needle, the Derby win was a case of not panicking in the face of unusual tactics.

In the past I have been critical of Moore and his poor PR image. Yesterday I spent some time in his company and I think his “communication problems” are more a matter of shyness than bloody mindedness. Anyway we would soon tire if every rider had the ebullience of Dettori.

At the end of the day I would rather a jockey did the talking with his riding and, in the case of Moore, that is an area in which he speaks loudly and clearly.

Talking of communication, I had an unsolicited e-mail from the USA this week. Unusually is wasn’t an abusive mail telling me I was talking out of my posterior.

This one was from a chap saying it was a long time since he had seen me and was asking if I was planning to tour again? The giveaway though was, how long had I been living in the UK?

It was then the penny dropped. He had Googled my name and had confused me with my namesake, who is, by all accounts, an excellent jazz saxophonist.

To confuse the pair of us would greatly amuse anybody who knows me well, as it is an indisputable fact I am tone deaf, have no musical ability and cannot hold a note of any kind.

Indeed I cannot even whistle in tune.

I am to singing or music what Les Dawson was to piano playing.

Anyway I wrote back to this chap pointing out his mistake and commenting on my lack of musical ability. It emerges he is a music teacher and he wrote back with a lovely response saying everyone has a latent musical talent, it just needs the right person to bring it out.

This confusion made me think about racing commentators and their namesakes.

I suppose I ought to deal with the most obvious racing example, namely Jim McGrath.

One is the former Timeform guru, stalwart of Channel Four Racing, and BHA director, known for making his astute observations with his eyes half closed. The other is the Australian born commentator, a breath of fresh air when he first arrived in the UK, but a commentator who some may, unfairly, say commentates with his eyes half closed on occasion.

Derek Thompson is a name to provoke strong reactions. The marmite man of racing and the racing broadcaster (along with Matt Chapman) who really polarises opinion. Either the most irritating thing to be found on the racecourse, even more irritating than those blessed flying beetles at Epsom, or the sort of person who can entertain or engage with the crowds and have them eating out of his hand. Or is Derek Thompson the actor who has been in Casualty since the first episode, playing Charlie Fairhead?

Perhaps, next time he is treating a patient, Charlie Fairhead could be given the line, “don’t worry, you’ll be OK big fella.”

Is Lee McKenzie the very sexy former presenter on the original At The Races or the racecourse commentator? Have they been seen in the same room together? (sorry Lee!!)

Fortunately the only thing I only have one thing in common with point-to-point expert and sometimes commentator Iain MacKenzie is that his namesake, like mine, is also a jazz musician. His being a UK based jazz /swing singer.

Continuing the musical theme Simon Holt’s alter-ego is a UK composer of contemporary classical music, whilst Mark Slater is also a contemporary British composer.

When I Googled Mark Johnson the first listing stated, “Mark Johnson was eight years old when he started to see a psychiatrist about his violent tendencies. That was the same year he first got drunk. ...” and I thought I was on to something really interesting, only to discover the article was about Mark Johnson the author of Wasted.

Perhaps he needs to visit Mark Johnson who is professor of philosophy at the University of Oregon, or is he also be Mark Johnson former top ice hockey star and now coach?

If you are into hot cars then Graham Goode is the man for you as Graham Goode Racing will hot tune your car for you, especially if it is a Subaru or Mitsubishi.

Finally Malcolm Tomlinson, another soap actor, star of Emmerdale, Eastenders and Hollyoaks.

Oh hang on – he really is the same one!!!!

Right I’m now off to find out just how good a saxophonist I really am.

2008 Flat Season Review

Well another flat season comes to an end and it has been quite a season.


Aiden O’Brien and his Ballydoyle machine has had a brilliant season winning a majority of the Group One races. Clearly losing Kieran Fallon has not had a detrimental effect and in Johnny Murtagh they seem to have found an able substitute.


Of course the winning streak has not come without its critics. Firstly us Brits love to knock a winner then there has been the controversy surrounding the use of team tactics and, on more than one occasion, team Ballydoyle have fallen foul of various teams of stewards around the world. Of course there has also been the pocket talking criticism from losing punters who just cannot accept they picked the wrong horse and they need somebody else to blame.


Talking of controversy the biggest controversy of the season must surround the “will he, won’t he” saga of New Approach’s Epsom Derby participation. The ins and outs have been discussed ad-nauseum elsewhere and I don’t intend digging them up again. Suffice to say it is my belief that Jim Bolger is an inherently honest man and the behaviour of certain members of the media in this matter has been nothing short of a disgrace.


After the excitement of last years jockeys championship which, went to the last race on the last day of the season, the 2008 renewal was something of an anti-climax. Ryan Moore, who has a hate / hate relationship with the media, regained the title with some ease, after missing most of last season through injury. There is no doubt he is a competent jockey and he lets his riding do the talking. However he would do well to remember a little humility and civility would go a long way to making his life easier.


The big festivals came and went, although York didn’t even get off the ground due to flooding.


The end of the season was, however, sullied with more scandal. Following a BHA inquiry trainer Paul Blockley and jockey Dean McKeown, along with some other unsavoury characters, including a pretty obnoxious owner, were warned off for cheating. The implementation of the ban was delayed for seven days in the case of McKeown and in that time he was referred to the BHA for another offence under the non-triers rule – you couldn’t make it up.


The plaudits for me:-


Trainer of the year:- a tie between Aiden O’Brien and Jim Bolger (with a special mention for Sir
Michael Stoute who finally won that elusive St Leger)


Horse Of The Year:- another tie between Derby winner New Approach and Conduit who after winning the St Leger went and beat the Yanks at the Breeders Cup)


Jockey Of The Year:- Ryan Moore (with special mentions for Kevin Manning and Johnny Murtagh)